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I have never personally nor professionally had an account on Facebook. But to further clarify, I do participate in other kinds of social networks. There are two aspects of Facebook (or any social network) that disturb me. The first is people’s behavior and the second is privacy.

When I am asked “why?” by my colleagues and friends, I respond with a simple metaphor: “I am neither a stripper nor a voyeur.” To which, people either laugh or give me a look. So I explain.

Strippers are those individuals who bare their all on Facebook. They share the who, what and where of their daily lives and personal identity in detail. They are willing to share it with most people; essentially whomever is willing to read their profile.

Voyeurs are those who actually digest all the stripper has to offer. They consume the date without any real personal interaction. They like to read, watch and remain anonymous even though they are technically “a friend”.

Let me give an example to illustrate. About a year and a half ago, my wife ran into an acquaintance of hers at a local store. I will call the acquaintance, Ann. In the midst of their discussion, which included the typical “how are you’s” and “what’s new”, the conversation turned to a mutual acquaintance named Shirley. Shirley lived about a block or two away from us, around the corner. We were not close to her family but would occasionally interact. Ann went on to describe some of the difficulties Shirley was having during her pregnancy. On top of which, Shirley’s house sold a month before she was due and actually, they moved the very week she gave birth. Ann went on and on about the stress of that week, everything Ann’s husband had to do and organize (which also included caring for two other children!). Quite the story! Most of which my wife was not aware of.

My wife asked Ann when she had talked with Shirley. To which Ann replied that she had not actually talked to Shirley but had just read her Facebook page.

In this example, Shirley is the stripper and Ann is the voyeur.

Now, I am not going to blame Facebook for the behavior of strippers and voyeurs. But it is fascinating that people have let themselves fulfill these roles. My concern for the strippers and voyeurs is two-fold. First, that the sharing of intimate life details has become non-intimate. Second, I questioned whether these two individuals were really and truly “friends”.

So all along I have had a concern with how people tend to behave on social networks, which is why they have never appealed to me. But again this is not really Facebook’s fault.

However, when I think about the story above and consider how Facebook has changed their privacy policy over the years, the details Shirley intended for friends could now easily be shared to a larger community. Unless Shirley was on the top of her game, her life would have been unwittingly shared with many.

Fast Company posted a fascinating infographic the other day: Privacy on Facebook is Vanishing. The author’s commentary on the infographic: “But it does show that Facebook has transformed itself in the last five years from a service were privacy was an opt-out feature, to one where privacy is opt-in. As any behavioral economist will tell you, that single difference can massively affect the choices people make. Facebook might easily claim, “Hey! You can change things as you wish!” But in fact, they’ve created a massive shift in the privacy settings of Facebook as a whole. ”

A Fast Company post today displays how complicated privacy settings have become on Facebook.

I will stop short of telling people to get off of Facebook. Rather, I encourage them to 1) be careful and 2) to investigate alternatives that are privacy minded and allow total personal control. (Simple email comes to mind here).